Life Is Not So Wonderful... Sometimes

So I have received a few messages that were confused as to why my dating life is soo miserable... I will give a slight update for those who were on missions, didn't know me, or just had better things to do than pay attention to my little life.

So in April of 2007 I got engaged to a guy, who just so happened to be my best friend's little brother. He was from Texas, so we made preparations to move down to Texas and start our new life there. Unfortunately a little over a week before the wedding we got into a HUGE argument, emotions flew and I said somethings that I didn't mean. Well he decided that he wanted to wait to get married and me (being the spoiled princess that I can be sometimes) wasn't gonna let my whole huge wedding go down the drain. Plus I really just wanted to marry the guy and not be engaged for who knows how much longer... cuz being engaged SUCKS (sorry mom, I know you hate that word). So I told him that I didn't want to marry him. This was, of course, very much not true. I was just planning on him caving and saying we could get married that next week. Boy was I wrong! He walked out, called off the wedding and flew home.

That was pretty much the WORST day of my life. The day we got into the fight was actually the day we had planned on moving down to Texas to have fun with the families for a bit and get the reception all set up. So that morning I had spent packing my stuff, plus I had quit my job, sold my apartment contract, turned off my cell phone, and oh yeah... dropped out of BYU. When he walked out that door, my life walked out with him.

So he returned to Texas and I was left in Utah to repair my life and luckily never have to see him again so I could move on... Oh wait... NOT! Stinking BYU last minute decided to let him transfer to BYU. Which was good for him but not so much for my broken heart. Plus we both had this little problem of still being in love with each other and used to being around to each other. So we fell into the comfortable world of being friends with benefits.

So we lived in friends with benefits world for about 4 months. Then I decided that I was going to win him back by making him jealous ie: flirting with boys in front of him and going to parties so I could get hit on by more guys. Yet again, my plans backfired on me. He got mad and within 2 weeks had a girlfriend. And lucky me I found out through Facebook, when his profile picture changed to a picture of him and her... at the place we ate the night we got engaged.

The next few months were spent studying in the library (thankfully when I am depressed I study) and crying. Not to mention running into him and girl because I was still best friends with his brother and brothers tend to hang out. Boy were those moments fun... Then in the end of December he made contact with me, dumped the girl and we fell back into being friends with benefits.

About two weeks ago .. six months later... I got sick of being just the friend with benefits. I was hoping that it would turn into dating, but instead it is now just friends. Yay... so here I am... almost a year after the breakup... still heartbroken. But hey! At least I am taking summer classes so I can throw my depressed self completely into my studies. :-)

So there ya go. My saga. I know it is forever long (I could have made it much much longer) but it was nice for me to kind of vent.